Monday, March 10, 2014

What does it mean to be a Man?

Masculinity plays a large role in the life of the Dominican men portrayed throughout Diaz’s works “Drown”, “Oscar Wao”, and “This is How You Lose Her” but who defines what makes one a man or not and is this the same to all members of that culture?
The Dominican man’s “defined goal” is one of power in society.  This power can extend to control over other people to control over meeting personal desires (sexually).  Yunior’s dad and brother are a good example of this claim to the power of control of other people throughout all of the books.  Yunior’s dad maintains power over his sons seen specifically in Drown and This is How You Lose Her when he acts quickly to something he disapproves of in an abusive way – both physically and mentally.  In Drown you see instances early on such as when his father yells at him for eating before the drive “Coño, muchacho, why did you eat?” (p 25), and later “If you eat anything, I’m going to beat you” (p 37).  Yunior’s brother is seen imitating this claim to power seen by Dominican men specifically in a more physical way early in Drown when he beat Ysrael (p 18). 
The power of achieving personal desires is also a repeated topic throughout all the novels.  This influence of achievement by sleeping with many women in spite of current relationship terms for personal satisfaction makes an appearance in nearly if not all chapters of Diaz’s works.  This influence’s presence occurs at such an early age, noticeably seen in Rafa in the beginning of Drown, and its strongest effects appear in opposition (throughout Oscar Wao).  Despite Oscar’s resistance, all of his friends, Al and Miggs, and relatives encouraged him to shape up and get a lady “… you’re going to die a virgin unless you start changing” (p 31).  The characters of Oscar Wao immediately labeled Oscar’s inability to sleep with girls as a source of sadness and I believe that this treatment of unnecessary pity actually helped to spark Oscar’s depression.  Unable to conform Oscar falls deep into sadness.  He even tried to kill himself in the middle of the novel.
However, although the environment in which these characters are growing may be causing a Dominican masculinity to develop, this masculinity is challenged.  The strongest challenge to Dominican masculinity I believe occurs in the shortest chapter of This is How You Lose Her, Alma.  It is in this chapter that Yunior, the protagonist, begins to come to a realization that Dominican men don’t act like real men: they cheat and then they lie about it. 
Yunior’s relationship with Alma emasculated him.  Alma seemed to be more sexually driven than Yunior, “She’s more adventurous in bed than any girl you’ve had” (p 46), but Yunior still cheats on her.  His cheating may best be explained by Yunior’s attempt to regain power from a woman who is ‘calling the shots’ in the bedroom.  When Alma confronts Yunior about his cheating he denies it in an effort to postpone Alma’s demoralizing claims; another attempt for Yunior to maintain power.  Here Yunior has an obvious challenge to his masculinity, and like many Dominican men of Diaz’s books, Yunior fails to face his problems.

The societies in which the characters live in define masculinity.  It is an unescapable force like fuku itself.  There are cultural members that try to escape the norms of their upbringings, but poverty and unwanted isolation force the Dominican group back together and force the societal pressures of masculinity to thrive.  To the Dominicans there is no other definition of a man because there is no way out of the group.  Yunior’s best description of the plausibility of actually treating a woman right and being a good guy he desires to be can be accurately summed up in This is How You Lose Her, “Maybe five thousand years ago we were together” (p 84).  Maybe five thousand years ago society would not have constructed Yunior the way at which he is today.

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